ROYAL ROYALTIES

A few days ago President Yanukovych declared more than UAH16 million ($2m) which he received  in royalties from a printing house in Donetsk for his published and not-yet-published books. The President’s entourage insists that the amount is quite realistic and that no printing house would have offered royalties at a loss. Regarding the “realistic amount” of $2m, it’s 5 times more than the royalties of President Obama, 100 times more than J.K.Rowling had for her first two books about Harry Porter and thousands of times more than what any Ukrainian writer might have received for his books. Not to lose the money already paid to the President, the printing house would have to sell two copies of Yanukovych’s books to every Ukrainian – including babies and the blind. It’s crystal clear that this kind of royalty is nothing but corruption. Even the President’s assurance that the total sum will be handed as charities to the needy (to orphanages, hospitals, etc) does not help. The fact remains: how can an illiterate person write books on his own – the books that would sell as hot cakes? I also noticed a phrase mentioned by Yanukovych in his interview: “This year I’ll spend the funds that I received from the publication of some of my books…” How about “next year”?

However, I know a way to make President Yanukovych’s works more popular than they are. He should be made to write a book really by himself. A theme suggested for writing may be “Me in Prison: Reminiscences of a Former Criminal.” If written, that sort of book shall be listed in the category “BLACK HUMOUR.”

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