STUDENTS’ HUMOUR picked up from the Internet

2013-06-01PC 1.      Political Correctness

You don’t have detention, you’re just one of the “exit delayed.”

Your bedroom isn’t cluttered, it’s just “passage restrictive.”

 

You’re not late, you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”

You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”

You’re not being sent to the principals office. You’re “going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.”

It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “the speedy transmission of near-factual information.”

The food at the school cafeteria isn’t awful. It’s “digestively challenged.”

 

2013-06-01A2.      Flying Home for Holidays.

A student was heading home for holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to Houston. And as she gave the agent her luggage, she made this remark: “I’d like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London.”

The confused agent said, “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.”

“Really??? I am so relieved to hear you say that because …That’s exactly what you did to my luggage last year!”

 

 

 

 

2013-06-01N3.      “Ways A Nerd Can Impress” joke.

 

Ways A Computer Nerd Can Impress His Date:

 

a.Flash the big wads of tens and twenties you created with your color laser printer and top-notch graphics program.

 

b. Spend an evening playing floppy disks backward, listening for the secret messages about Satan.

 

c. Drive her crazy by murmuring tender love words with the help of a French-speaking voice synthesizer.

 

d. When things get tough, simply ask yourself, “What would Bill Gates and Steve Jobs do in a situation like this?

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4 Responses to “STUDENTS’ HUMOUR picked up from the Internet”

  1. Olia Says:

    🙂 Another challenge for interpreters

  2. vitaliyb Says:

    Thanks, Olia, for your appreciation! I also wish you a very happy summer, and thanks for your greeting card of May, 20th. Incidentally, I’m planning to write my blog thematically (e.g. Monday will be assigned for linguistics, Tuesday – for social matters, Wednesday – for the cross-cultural aspects, etc.)

  3. Shonda Says:

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  4. Tamara Says:

    A perfect linguistic thing! I’ve got a story about another politically correct word – “hair-disadvantaged”.

    When I told my husband that he was going hair-disadvantaged, he said he would prefer being bald. “Disadvantaged” sounds pretty offensive”, he added. I insisted, rather doubtfully though, that “bald” was less politically correct. A fan of German – the language of perfect logic and clearly motivated word coinages, as he thinks -he finally said: ” What else can you expect of a language in which “put” and “but” read differently?

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